Shady Clearing

Alright, so I apparently was worried for no reason about the other night.  Much relief from that.  He apparently was just goign out to his truck to write lyrics.

As for today, other things that have been weighing on my mind due to various things also came out of me in a large discussion that we had.  This discussion also had me nervous for a while, but now that it’s over, I feel that it’s a lot better.  We talked about a lot of things, but most of it was things that were on my mind and worries I had.  A lot of those worries were born from bad experiences in a previous relationship, but since talking with him about it all I feel a lot better and relieved.

Garet, since you’ll read this at some point:

I love you.  Thank you for being understanding and patient with me, even as I stumble through what goes through my mind.  You have no idea how important you are to me.  I just hope I can keep being who you want to be with, hopefully for a very long time.  I love you.

Hmm.  I currently don’t know at all what to think.

Garet and I went out tonight.  Had some dinner and then went to see Eagle Eye.  It was really a good movie, in my opinion.  It was all a nice evening, really.  Of course, then we came home.

That was no big thing, until we got to talking.  I told him that he needed to cheer up, since pretty much any time he’s not out with friends he looks like he’s depressed as all hell, but when asked about it he always just responds that that’s just the way he looks.  From there he replied that it mostly has to do with the fact that we never do anything very often, of which I recited the short list of things there are to do in Evansville that I’m interested in.  Of course, that list didn’t include concerts at Boney Junes (or most concerts, for that matter) for a few reasons.  However, the largest of those reasons has to do with the fact that when we’re out with his friends, besides the few that he’s really close to, I can’t be his boyfriend.  I just have to be the friend that kinda just tags along to stuff he goes out to do.

I believe it’s understandable and easy to see why it would bother me, but in the end I feel I’ve upset him.  Can’t be sure, but I think I did.  He had a little notebook and said he was going out to his truck for a bit.

I’m honestly nervous as hell, but I guess I’ll just have to wait and see what he writes.

Ta.

In just a couple hours I’m going to be making another baked ziti dish.  The last time I made it was rather impromptu, using some left over Colby jack shredded cheese and American cheese singles between the layers, but this time I’ve planned it a bit better.

It’s going to primarily be the same: about three layers of ziti, with sauce and cheese on each layer.  However, instead of American cheese slices in the inner layers, I’ve got some ricotta cheese, and for the top I have a shredded Italian cheese blend of mozzarella, provolone, parmesan, reggiano and asiago cheeses.  This time around it should be really good, and I look forward to preparing and eating it.

Ta-ta for now.

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Music: Avratz by Infected Mushroom

Mm.  Today was such a pain in the butt at work.  I was really about to strangle Martha.  I mean, I love her to death because she’s such a sweet old lady, but I’d rather not think about whether or not she could have been any more grating today than she was.  Thankfully she left at 2 and my last couple hours at work were peaceful.

Had some pizza for dinner tonight while wasting some time transcribing some of the Natural Twenties strips into searchable format, while thinking about how to redesign the admin backend for Aeon RO to make it more like a real web application instead of a bunch of quick-and-dirty tools glued together with snot.

Don’t get me wrong; the tools are very useful even in their current states, I just think they could benefit from being put together in a more cohesive way.  That on top of some code restructuring to make them more efficient by creating shared classes and such that can be reused throughout the various tools instead of having seperate incarnations of each version of their function sets.  It’ll take a while, but I think it’ll be worth it.

All that said, I’m going to do some more work on that last point, and will write more later.  Ta~

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Music: Echonomix by Infected Mushroom