Shady Clearing

Alright, so I apparently was worried for no reason about the other night.  Much relief from that.  He apparently was just goign out to his truck to write lyrics.

As for today, other things that have been weighing on my mind due to various things also came out of me in a large discussion that we had.  This discussion also had me nervous for a while, but now that it’s over, I feel that it’s a lot better.  We talked about a lot of things, but most of it was things that were on my mind and worries I had.  A lot of those worries were born from bad experiences in a previous relationship, but since talking with him about it all I feel a lot better and relieved.

Garet, since you’ll read this at some point:

I love you.  Thank you for being understanding and patient with me, even as I stumble through what goes through my mind.  You have no idea how important you are to me.  I just hope I can keep being who you want to be with, hopefully for a very long time.  I love you.

Hmm.  I currently don’t know at all what to think.

Garet and I went out tonight.  Had some dinner and then went to see Eagle Eye.  It was really a good movie, in my opinion.  It was all a nice evening, really.  Of course, then we came home.

That was no big thing, until we got to talking.  I told him that he needed to cheer up, since pretty much any time he’s not out with friends he looks like he’s depressed as all hell, but when asked about it he always just responds that that’s just the way he looks.  From there he replied that it mostly has to do with the fact that we never do anything very often, of which I recited the short list of things there are to do in Evansville that I’m interested in.  Of course, that list didn’t include concerts at Boney Junes (or most concerts, for that matter) for a few reasons.  However, the largest of those reasons has to do with the fact that when we’re out with his friends, besides the few that he’s really close to, I can’t be his boyfriend.  I just have to be the friend that kinda just tags along to stuff he goes out to do.

I believe it’s understandable and easy to see why it would bother me, but in the end I feel I’ve upset him.  Can’t be sure, but I think I did.  He had a little notebook and said he was going out to his truck for a bit.

I’m honestly nervous as hell, but I guess I’ll just have to wait and see what he writes.

Ta.